1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:00,000 2 00:00:03,740 --> 00:00:07,310 Yeah . I don't know what she 3 00:00:07,310 --> 00:00:09,421 expects . She signed on for this kind 4 00:00:09,421 --> 00:00:11,477 of life when she married me . Yeah . 5 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:15,296 How have things been between you and 6 00:00:15,296 --> 00:00:19,160 Rebecca since Sam died ? I don't know . 7 00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:22,450 How should they be . Mhm . 8 00:00:23,840 --> 00:00:25,860 We're both hurting a lot 9 00:00:28,740 --> 00:00:30,670 in six months . But I still catch 10 00:00:30,670 --> 00:00:34,240 myself thinking Sam have baseball this 11 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,770 weekend or checking the rear view 12 00:00:37,770 --> 00:00:40,550 mirror and big surprise . He's not in 13 00:00:40,550 --> 00:00:44,040 the back seat . Mhm . Rebecca puts on a 14 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:47,210 brave face , but it's for the girls or 15 00:00:47,220 --> 00:00:49,860 for herself . I think 16 00:00:50,540 --> 00:00:54,160 it's a lie . What makes you say that ? 17 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,140 Does that bother you ? Of course it 18 00:00:57,140 --> 00:00:59,196 bothers me . Why ? Because it's only 19 00:00:59,196 --> 00:01:01,700 been six months . Cancer stole our 20 00:01:01,700 --> 00:01:03,867 little boy from us . And she acts like 21 00:01:03,867 --> 00:01:05,922 life should just go on as if nothing 22 00:01:05,922 --> 00:01:09,640 happened . Yeah . Maybe she really is 23 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:12,320 ready for life to go on . Well then she 24 00:01:12,320 --> 00:01:14,770 should be happy . We're moving . I 25 00:01:14,780 --> 00:01:17,320 don't know about that son . Being ready 26 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,431 to move on . Doesn't necessarily mean 27 00:01:19,431 --> 00:01:21,760 being ready to leave everything behind . 28 00:01:22,540 --> 00:01:24,707 You guys have a lot of memories here . 29 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:30,120 Sam is buried here . Leaving 30 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:32,850 won't be easy for either of you . 31 00:01:34,940 --> 00:01:37,860 Mhm . Mhm . What ? 32 00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:41,360 How many is that ? Uh huh . 33 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,620 Right . You gonna lecture me on the 34 00:01:45,630 --> 00:01:48,550 evils of alcohol ? Mhm . 35 00:01:49,540 --> 00:01:52,160 Do I need to ? Mm hmm . 36 00:01:53,540 --> 00:01:54,540 Yeah . 37 00:01:57,740 --> 00:02:00,670 Even if you recognize the warning signs , 38 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,902 it's not always easy to know what to do 39 00:02:02,902 --> 00:02:05,460 about it . Intervening can be difficult , 40 00:02:05,470 --> 00:02:07,750 uncomfortable or embarrassing . Even 41 00:02:07,750 --> 00:02:09,820 with a close family member , you may 42 00:02:09,820 --> 00:02:12,310 worry about damaging a relationship or 43 00:02:12,310 --> 00:02:14,477 hurting your loved one's feelings . Or 44 00:02:14,477 --> 00:02:16,699 perhaps you don't want to say the wrong 45 00:02:16,699 --> 00:02:18,699 thing and risk making the situation 46 00:02:18,699 --> 00:02:21,210 even worse , these are valid concerns 47 00:02:21,220 --> 00:02:23,164 and their what we call barriers to 48 00:02:23,164 --> 00:02:25,220 intervention . It's important to 49 00:02:25,220 --> 00:02:27,276 acknowledge your own barriers and to 50 00:02:27,276 --> 00:02:29,810 weigh them against the situation . If 51 00:02:29,810 --> 00:02:31,754 you're worried that a loved one is 52 00:02:31,754 --> 00:02:33,866 considering suicide , there are three 53 00:02:33,866 --> 00:02:35,699 options for intervening . Direct 54 00:02:35,699 --> 00:02:39,640 delegate and distract . Direct 55 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:41,862 intervention means you acknowledge that 56 00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:43,751 you notice their behavior or mood 57 00:02:43,751 --> 00:02:45,862 changes and that you're worried about 58 00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:49,270 them hurting themselves . Use ace Ask 59 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:53,080 care as a guide . Ask them what's 60 00:02:53,080 --> 00:02:55,960 wrong and then be patient , empathetic 61 00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:58,192 and willing to listen to their answer . 62 00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:00,551 If they need a helping resource offer 63 00:03:00,551 --> 00:03:02,384 to go with them or make the call 64 00:03:02,384 --> 00:03:05,240 together . Delegating means you ask 65 00:03:05,240 --> 00:03:07,296 someone else to intervene or to help 66 00:03:07,296 --> 00:03:09,240 you . You could ask another family 67 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:11,020 member , a friend , one of your 68 00:03:11,030 --> 00:03:13,360 airmen's wingman or their supervisor . 69 00:03:13,740 --> 00:03:15,796 It may also be appropriate to get in 70 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:17,962 touch with your installations , mental 71 00:03:17,962 --> 00:03:20,129 health provider or chaplain military . 72 00:03:20,129 --> 00:03:22,270 One source is another great resource 73 00:03:22,310 --> 00:03:24,750 that offers services to both airmen and 74 00:03:24,750 --> 00:03:27,080 family members , distracting means 75 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,969 providing a distraction from your 76 00:03:28,969 --> 00:03:30,969 airman's internal experience of the 77 00:03:30,969 --> 00:03:32,969 negative thoughts and feelings that 78 00:03:32,969 --> 00:03:35,024 contribute to suicide risk . You can 79 00:03:35,024 --> 00:03:37,191 distract them from feeling isolated or 80 00:03:37,191 --> 00:03:39,630 hopeless or worthless by encouraging 81 00:03:39,630 --> 00:03:41,297 them to participate in family 82 00:03:41,297 --> 00:03:43,470 activities , Expressing optimism for 83 00:03:43,470 --> 00:03:45,890 the future and reminding them how much 84 00:03:45,890 --> 00:03:47,946 they mean to you . It's important to 85 00:03:47,946 --> 00:03:50,030 realize , however , that distract is 86 00:03:50,030 --> 00:03:52,290 not the appropriate intervention in an 87 00:03:52,290 --> 00:03:54,760 emergency situation . If the risk for 88 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:57,930 suicide is immediate , call 911 and 89 00:03:57,930 --> 00:04:00,160 stay with the person until help arrives .